Wrestlers’ Bumper Stickers

“My other car is a Porsche… which I used to skip town right after I double-crossed Bret Hart.” (Earl Hebner’s car)

“Rounding up hitchhikers is the only way I’ve ever put asses in the seats.” (Lex Luger’s car)

“Honk if I’ve ever put you over clean.” (Ric Flair’s car)

“I don’t care what your insurance carrier says.  No matter what happens, I’m NEVER at fault.” (Undertaker’s car)

“Even in ‘neutral,’ this car moves faster than I do.” (Hulk Hogan’s car)

“The combined value of all of my cars is what it would cost me to sign Goldberg.” (Vince McMahon)

“Just married…. HA!  Only GLAAD fell for that one.” (Billy & Chuck’s car)

“I’m tired of being pulled over for Ken Shamrock’s parking tickets.  We look nothing alike!” (Rico’s car)

“I do NOT consent to having you search this car.” (Road Dogg’s car)

“I was student of the month at Cornell University… until I dropped out to do ECW spot show gigs for $40.” (Joel Gertner’s car)

“WARNING: My car seat smells horrific.” (Rikishi’s car)

“Our other car is boxing in Ken Shamrock’s parking space.  What’s he gonna do about it?  It’s 2 against 1, all over again.” (Nasty Boys’ car)

“Please be extra careful not to hit me.  I used this car as collateral for extra NWA/TNA funding.” (Jeff Jarrett’s car)

“This baby has got mileage as high as my cholesterol level.” (Brock Lesnar’s car)

“I signed a 10-yr lease deal that I can’t get out of.  Hey, sort of like how Vince is stuck with me.  Ironic, huh?” (Big Show’s car)

“Call me if you need your car windows bashed in with a baseball bat.  I’ve got a great reference from SMW.” (Jim Cornette’s car)

“Honk if I owe you money.” (Paul Heyman’s car)

“Teenager on board.  Girlfriend on board, too.  But it’s the same person.” (Jerry Lawler’s car)

“I can tow your car with my bare hands, and impregnate your great, great, great, grandmother.” (Mark Henry’s car)

“Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  Fool me three times, shame on Vince, NBC, and me again.” (Dick Ebersol’s car)

“If this car is found abandoned and broken, please don’t have Joey Buttafuoco fix it.  Hasn’t he embarrassed me enough?” (Chyna’s car)

“I want my sunroof open so I can stick my head through the ceiling, but HHH keeps closing it.” (Chris Jericho’s car)

“Go ahead Officer, write me a speeding ticket.  While you’re at it, write me a Raw script.  You’ll probably do a better job than I will.”  (Stephanie McMahon’s car)

“My rear and side view mirrors are pointed at my biceps and lats, so drive next to me with caution.” (Buff Bagwell’s car)

“Yes, it feels terrific to have lost all this weight.  But please, stop with the Mortis references.” (Kane’s car)

“Honk if you’ve ever held the Hardcore title.” (Mick Foley’s car)

“Hey Steven Speilberg, won’t you be my neighbor?” (DDP’s car)

“In case you haven’t heard, Michael Cole and Tazz wanted me to let you all know that I’m still a rookie.” (John Cena’s car)

“Driving a Sable is the only way I get people to remember who I am nowadays.” (Rena Mero’s car)

“Next time, remind me to look at Jarrett’s balance sheet before I go shooting my mouth about never wanting to work for McMahon again.” (K-Kwik’s car)

“I’d explain to you why I ran that red light, but no booker ever lets me speak.” (Arn Anderson’s car)

“Bookers let me speak, but I don’t bother.” (Bobby Eaton’s car)

“Honk if you stopped watching WCW because of me.” (Vince Russo’s car)

“If you heard it here, it’s Confidential.  And if you heard it on Confidential, it’s likely bullsh*t.” (Gene Okerlund’s car)

“If you’re wondering why my angle with HHH was dropped cold, join the club; the club that gave up on WWE after months of that same sort of thing happening again and again.” (Shawn Michaels’ car)

“No, I’m not writing Raw.  Vince just uses my old Nitro scripts and changes the characters.  Now shut up and pass the ketchup.” (Dusty Rhodes’ car)