Klondike Bill Chews Women’s Panties

Klondike Bill was, according to Tony Schiavone, a “Sick old f*ck.” The now-legendary story of Klondike Bill using a Kielbasa to satisfy a woman (and then eating it the next morning) made his name relevant again, prompting Schiavone to tell yet another story about Klondike Bill that may have topped it.

Date: mid 1980s
Location: Calvin Griffith Park in Charlotte, NC (formerly Jim Crockett Memorial Park)
Source: What Happened When Podcast with Tony Schiavone and Conrad Thompson

As noted in the Kielbasa story, Klondike Bill was a memorable character in the Canadian wrestling scene in the 1960s and 1970s. He never became a huge star, but he’s well known in wrestling circles for his stint with Jim Crockett Promotions, the NWA, and WCW as an operations manager who managed the hauling of the rings and event promotions. He was very well liked for his fun personality and as Schiavone put it, “Klondike Bill got more p*ssy than anybody” because he had low standards and would generally sleep with anything.

On this particular night, Klondike Bill and Tony Schiavone were driving back from Florence, South Carolina back to Charlotte, North Carolina. It’s a three-hour trip, and to pass the time, the two of them spent the whole time talking about women and p*rnography. Schiavone was married at the time, but Bill was his usual manwhore self and would entertain Schiavone with his sordid sex tales with assorted ring rats.

The more they talked in the car about all the “degenerate sh*t that two guys talk about when they’re alone,” the more worked up and horny Klondike Bill got. Schiavone was really getting him going, and at one point they stopped at a convenience store to buy a nudie magazine. As Bill drove his pickup truck, Schiavone was in the passenger seat showing pictures of the nude women to Bill, who was going crazy by this point.

By the time Bill reached Crockett Park and dropped Schiavone off, it was 3am and Bill was almost frothing at the mouth from all the sex talk. It just so happened that after Schiavone got out of the truck, he saw a pair of women’s panties on the ground in the parking lot. Nobody knew who they belonged to or how long they had been there, but it didn’t matter to Bill.

Klondike Bill took the panties, wadded them up, put them in his mouth, and chewed them up like gum. As he did this, he’d make horny grunts and noises like, “Mmm hmm mmm hmm, how about that! Mmm hmm mmm hmm…”

We’ve never seen Klondike Bill wrestle, but between this and the Kielbasa story, he’s reached legendary status in our eyes. Bill passed away many years ago, but he sure sounds like someone we’d all want to hang out with. His stories will live on forever here on The Armpit and on pro wrestling podcasts forever.