We’ve compiled a list of 25 wrestlers who knew how to party. Each is ranked according to a highly scientific system based on 3 well-researched topics: Chicks, booze, and drugs.
C is for chicks, B is for booze, and D is for drugs. If you’re not smart enough to figure that out, then congratulations, you just might have a future booking TNA.
This list is tongue in cheek, so please read it as such.
And for any wives or girlfriends of wrestlers reading this, please, everything I wrote is hearsay.
Now load the keg, crank the Crue, and let’s throw a Great American Bash, Armpit-style.
- William Regal (numerous rehab stints, ass-kicker, can talk politics)
- Dick Slater (gets nuttier with age, charged with stabbing his girlfriend, partied backstage in numerous shady locker rooms in the 70s, 80s, and 90s)
- Hercules Hernandez (a true family man with a big heart, but loved to party)
25. Tom Zenk
C: **** Let’s see, the guy admitted in his Pick My Brain interview with us that he slept with over 500 women while in WCW. He was voted “WCW’s Sexiest Wrestler” by Beth Flair. You don’t get more impressive than that. Zenk was tanned, dark-haired, tall, and had a great physique in his prime. He hung out with Brian Pillman. Those two on the road in the early 90s must’ve led insanely crazy lifestyles. Zenk’s own action figure had a motto from him on the package that said, “Stay single!” Need I say more?
B: ** I have no idea, but I bet he downed a few drinks in his day. Probably not a crazy drunk, but knew how to party. My guess is he was too obsessed with women to worry about drinking.
D: * Considering how normal Zenk is today, and his ability to observe the business, I don’t think he was a big druggie. I could be wrong, but I’ve heard nothing to convince me otherwise.
TOTAL: 7. A true sleaze with God-given good looks who lived it up. His horny ways landed him on this list, but his straight head makes him unusually normal, thus his low rank. He’s like Brian Pillman without the personal demons.
24. Ric Flair
C: **** Ric’s bedroom conquests are well known. His own book talked about his all-night parties with the Horsemen in the hotel rooms and limousines. What do you think they were doing all night, watching tapes of Thesz and O’Connor and planning spots for the next evening’s matches?? Please, they were banging Southern ring rats all night long, several at a time. Why do you think Ric is so sorry about what he did to his family, because he was too busy rehearsing bumps in the ring with the jobbers, trying to teach the Mulkeys how to sell? Yeah right. We often forgive Flair because he is among the best ever, but you’d be a fool to deny his legendary status with the ladies.
B: ** Ric was a boozer, no doubt. You might be surprised I only gave him 2 stars, but here’s why: Ric drank endlessly, but hardly acted drunk. Sure, he’d get naked all the time, but he never stumbled around on camera or anything. He was always in control of the situation, and always sober when the camera was on. To him, drinking was just part of the party. For other drunks, drinking was THE party. There’s a difference.
D: * Ric was never a drug user, and I believe that. Yeah he did steroids from time to time, but nowhere near what the others were doing. Ric wouldn’t be alive today if he lived his lifestyle while doing drugs. But what he lacked in drugs, he made up for with women.
TOTAL: 7. A legendary partier, but without the drugs, he’s no competition for the other guys here. Trust me, that’s a good thing.
23. Arn Anderson
C: ** Arn never struck me as a ladies man, and that’s part of the reason guys loved him so much: he just didn’t care. Arn is all man, that’s for sure, but in a way that earns respect from all other men. I actually met someone who was “Arn-ified” once, and believe me, I wish I hadn’t, because it ruined the myth. She was not Horsemen-caliber, and he could do better. I honestly don’t know Arn’s sexual history, but I can’t imagine he didn’t benefit from Ric’s leftovers and sloppy seconds. But he was more of a drinker than a womanizer.
B: **** He’s been to rehab and has been mocked by the nWo on live TV for his alcohol addiction. When Hall and Nash mock your alcohol problems, you know you’re in bad shape. I’m glad he has sobered up somewhat, but back in the day I bet he pounded the cerveza like no tomorrow.
D: ** Not sure about this one. I’m not convinced he was a major drug user, but also not convinced he was squeaky clean. I’m guessing 2 stars here, but I really have no idea.
TOTAL: 8. The drinking ranks him higher than the Nature Boy, sadly. Like I said, I’m glad he has a steady job with WWE, but his past will always haunt him, which is why he’s on this list.
22. Harley Race
C: ** What goes for Arn basically goes for Race. Anyone who looked like Race obviously didn’t care much about attracting quality poon. Beer, not babes, was his passion.
B: **** With a gut like that, you knew what he spent his free time doing. Beef, beer, and more beef and beer. Again, I don’t think he got crazy drunk, but rather held his liquor well and had a bottomless pit in both his stomach and liver. Probably outdrank all the other boys, and then won a few bar fights before calling it a night. Amen.
D: ** No clue, so I won’t really comment. Common sense, plus the fact he spent the 70s and 80s in dingy locker rooms in small towns with nothing to do, was the main factor in his rating.
TOTAL: 8. A manly, drinkin’ kind of guy. Sort of a less athletic version of Steve Austin, and the man HHH wishes he could be.
21. Brian “Road Dogg” James
C: ** Probably had his share. Being the younger sibling of good-looking wrestlers probably gave him an early start, so I’m sure he took advantage of that.
B: *** Brian looks like a guy who knows how to party. He’s a metalhead, which I respect, and probably knows his way around a karaoke. I doubt he ever turned down a good drink, and his problems were bad enough that he lost his job with WWE.
D: *** A solid rating justified by his inability to hang on to a great gig. His mid-90s departure from WWF over their drug policy is a red flag. His later problems, which he has spoken about in interviews, earn him a good 3 stars here.
TOTAL: 8. Had he been around in the 80s, there is no telling where he’d rank. He became the biggest star of the family, and that is too his credit. But he also blew it big-time, and he’s lucky to even have the gig he has. Billy Gunn got millions of chances while this guy didn’t?? What does that tell you?
20. Michael “P.S.” Hayes
C: **** Oh yeah, this guy merged the wild lifestyles of wrestling and rock n roll. With the long blond mane, sexy poses and lead singer exposure, I have no doubt he was a mean sex machine probably before he was a teenager. He may be uncool now, but in his day, he was the man. To me, he’s STILL the man. Wrestling’s answer to David Lee Roth.
B: ** I may be underestimating him here, but I just think that if he was as out of control as most wrestlers from that era were, he’d have had more problems. The guy always had a good gig, and still does to this day. He couldn’t have been that big a boozer, could he??
D: ** Ditto. I’m sure he was wild as a youngster, but look at him today. A corporate job that most would dream of having.
TOTAL: 8. Nevertheless, his bad boy persona and lifestyle make him deserving of his rank. I think women were his real vice, and I think you’d all agree with that assessment.
19. Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy
C: ** He was a Freebird. End of story. But he was also ugly.
B: ** He was a Freebird. End of story. A big drinker, but he was a big guy so that’s not as impressive as it sounds. If we were all 300 lbs, I bet we could all drink like Terry did.
D: **** Ahh, yes. This is the reason he’s on the list. Look, I was a huge fan of Gordy, both during and after the Freebird days. I stayed with him all through WCW and All Japan, and later, WWF. But he had an addiction, and unfortunately it cost him his life.
TOTAL: 8. Terry is no longer with us, and that totally bites. So much talent, and so much potential, all to waste. We miss you, Bam Bam.
18. Andre the Giant
C: ** I don’t even want to think about this.
B: **** Obviously, Andre was the biggest drinker wrestling ever knew. He knew his time on Earth was short, and he lived it up. Boy did he ever live it up. Hundreds of beers in one sitting is no exaggeration. Any longtime wrestler has a drinking story about Andre, and I never tire of hearing about them. No one will ever be his equal.
D: ** I doubt drugs would have any effect on this beast, but I’m willing to bet he tried.
TOTAL: 8. Andre’s a man who was the life of any party, mainly because he’d hog all the booze and get all the attention. And women probably wanted to see how big he really was.
17. Curt “Mr. Perfect” Hennig
C: ** He was blond and tan and in good shape. In wrestling, that doesn’t get you more women, but it does get you higher quality women.
B: ** The only man to trip over himself on live TV from being so wasted. He probably deserves more than 2 stars, but I’ll be nice here.
D: **** Sorry, but Curt had serious issues. I miss the Heck out of Hennig, and I enjoyed seeing him on his last WWE run. It’s really so sad.
TOTAL: 8. Can you imagine Hennig, Flair, and Heenan traveling and partying together in the WWF in 1992? Bad, bad things must have happened. I wish Curt never made this list, and I wish he was still alive. He was very well-liked by fans and wrestlers, and I know his dad in particular took it real hard. This list is getting depressing.
16. “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert
C: *** The envy of many wrestling fans for many years. Not just Missy, not just Madusa, but BOTH. Imagine all the creeps that tried to get in their pants, and Eddie not only beat them all to it, but got them to marry him. What was his secret?
B: ** It’s a guess, but it must have been pretty bad.
D: **** Another horrible tragedy. The fact his death came as little surprise to people like Paul Heyman says a lot. He had a great wrestling mind, and it’s a shame he’s no longer with us.
TOTAL: 9. All hail Eddie, he was a great guy. Despite all his partying, I’m sure he’d have given it up in a second if he knew the end result would come so quickly.
15. Sean “X-Pac” Waltman
C: *** I’m not sure if having Chyna should earn him more stars or have them taken away. Regardless, Waltman entered the business very young and hung around with the bad crowd. The result: more women than he could possibly handle. If Flair really did have more title reigns than X-Pac had “pieces of ass,” then Ric would be a several hundred-time champion. Well, that’s all speculation, but it’s my list and I can write what I want.
B: *** Waltman might be “little” compared to wrestlers, but he’s still big compared to the rest of us mere mortals. You know all the stories about him, so let’s give him 3 stars and leave it at that.
D: *** As I write this, I just heard Chyna on the Howard Stern show talking about Waltman. The man has issues.
TOTAL: 9. A rambunctious, feisty little fellow, eh? Had the talent to be a big star, but it was friends in high places that kept him a star, not his talent. And it was his partying that helped him burn so many bridges.
14. Tully Blanchard
C: *** Again, anyone who parties with the Horsemen is bound to get laid non-stop.
B: *** Same as above, but substitute “laid” with “drunk.”
D: *** Tully blew a great career because of a drug test, and he never recovered that career. What was he thinking? His commitment to Christianity is a sign that he hit rock bottom, and that, along with his Horseman history, makes him a bigger partier than either Flair or Arn.
TOTAL: 9. Man, you blew it. And considering others who have blown it, I can’t believe you didn’t get more chances than you did. Thanks for the memories anyway.
13. Road Warrior Hawk
C: ** Hawk was a major partier, but I can’t picture him with the ladies.
B: *** The ultimate beer drinkers’ hero. How many guys bought beers, drank them, and got loud and rowdy during a Road Warriors main event in 1985? Too many. And Hawk could drink with the best of ‘em.
D: **** Another terrible tragedy.
TOTAL: 9. Hawk’s partying cost him his life, and that’s never cool. I’m seeing a pattern here.
C: *** All the girls, especially the gothic, trashy types, loved Raven. He was their man, and he knew it. I bet that whole Flock gimmick was just an excuse for him to get in the stands and pick up more chicks.
B: *** A true rock n’ roller.
D: **** I’m just glad Raven is still alive. If you want to know why, go back and read the promo he cut on geeky WWE poor-excuse-for-a-writer Brian Gewirtz.
TOTAL: 10. I can’t figure this guy out. Oh, and please, lose the gut already. You’re finally back on cable TV, and you bring a new little gut with you?
11. Brutus Beefcake
C: *** I remember women used to actually think Beefcake was hot back in the day. Given how big a star he once was, and given that he wasn’t as freaky as someone like, oh, say, King Kong Bundy, I’d say the average ring rat would jump through hoops to sleep with someone who looked like Brutus. Factor in he got leftovers from Hogan (probably dating back to high school), and you have one busy penis. He was also there during Nitro’s big run, garnering more chicks. And of course, as he went through his tragic facial surgery, the opportunity was there for “sympathy” sex.
B: *** Beefcake was right there in the drug-crazed 80s scene, and toward the end of his career, was still addicted. You know there was plenty of booze there.
D: **** Beefcake’s story is sad. A true superstar who fell so hard he had to become a tollbooth collector. The cocaine rumors are tired and old by this point, as are the arrests and warrants. He really screwed up. What started out as a big party has ended up a sad tragedy. I hope he cleans himself up for good.
TOTAL: 10. With all the friends he has in the business, you’d think someone would try harder to intervene. Or maybe they already have, to no avail. I simply don’t know.
10. Juventud Guerrera
C: **** Come on, now. The guy looks like a Latin soap opera star, and if I had a face like his, I wouldn’t be wearing any mask. He’s young, dumb, and full of you know what. He’s got the looks, and with his young man mindset, he must’ve spread his Juvi Juice at any chance he got.
B: *** The guy has wrestled a billion times in Tijuana. Enough said.
D: *** Not an addict at Beefcake levels, but has his shares of embarrassing stories. His infamous Australia incident, his near-fight with Bischoff, his no-shows, his attitude… it never ends. This guy needs to get his head on straight.
TOTAL: 10. Juventud is incredibly talented with butt-loads of potential. He could be a WWE star right now if he wasn’t so scewy. The life of the party, and it has cost him.
9. “Mad Dog” Buzz Sawyer
C: ** Can’t see this guy as a swingin’ single, but probably used the rats for sex and went about his usual business. Many addicts are this way.
B: **** Even if he never drank a sip of alcohol, I’d still give him 4 stars just for the fact he cracked a raw egg into a glass and drank it, yolk and all. What a sick freak, and that was just stuff he did ON camera.
D: **** There’s a reason Sawyer was nicknamed the Mad Dog. Another young guy who died as a result of his partying lifestyle. If he can’t make this list, I’d hate to meet the men who can.
TOTAL: 10. It says something when rank this high and you’re not really that into chicks. That’s a testament to this real man’s hardcore habits. He may have been an honorable mention on our Top 10 Manliest list, but he’s a Top 10 partier here.
8. Marty Jannetty
C: **** Girls, girls, girls. Marty had the ultimate gimmick: a rocker dude who the chicks screamed for, a high-flyer respected by knowledgeable wrestling fans, and a Robert Gibson-type who had a world-class tag team partner who guaranteed a good match every time out. Lean, tan, long-haired, and with a child-like, cherubic face. He may have just been born again, but even as recently as last year, this guy was an all-night party who indulged in the ladies. A true Rocker.
B: *** A good rib’er who probably liked to get all liquored up before going upstairs to do his thang with the skirts. Not afraid to fight, either, even with HBK. I’ve read many interviews with this guy, and he has never been shy about his fondness for the bad things in life.
D: *** I once saw this guy live at a PPV event in Sacramento (Royal Rumble ’93, if you want to check your tapes), and he was totally out of it. Shortly thereafter, he was canned (and returned in May of that year in a very memorable mystery man angle and **** I-C title win over Shawn Michaels). That says something.
TOTAL: 10. Marty is known around the world for his crazy antics. To leave him off this list would be total injustice. In reality, if he’s really cleaned himself up, I’m happy for him. Now if only he’d have done that Pick My Brain with us!
7. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
C: *** I never would’ve given an ugly SOB like Jake Roberts 3 stars if I hadn’t seen “Beyond the Mat.”
B: **** Are you kidding?? Jake’s fondness for everything in sight is well known. I’m amazed he’s still alive, and hope he turns himself around while he still is.
D: **** Are you kidding?? Gotta love a guy who decries the morals in wrestling as he humps his snake and opponent in the ring on live television. I loved Roberts as a performer, and his religious fanaticism is what led to the industry-changing “Austin 3:16” slogan that generated millions. But he probably deserves 5 stars in this category.
TOTAL: 11. Jake could’ve had a major front office position in WWE now if he had his head on straight. An awesome interview and psychologist, who got over with the male audience despite having a flabby, pathetic physique. What a waste.
6. “Nature Boy” Budd Landell
C: *** Tanned and blond. In the South, that’s all it took to get laid in the 80s.
B: **** To this day, he still (at times) thinks he’s 23 again. He isn’t, and his drunken episodes at high-profile events only further embarrass himself.
D: **** Buddy has partied with the best of them, including meeting party kings Motley Crue and other bad-boy bands who drugged it up in the 80s. For every chance Barry Windham blew, Landel blew twice as many. He’s loaded with talent and charisma, yet very few people know that, or even know who he is. He was a “Nature Boy,” except he never quite made it. When he finally got to the WWF in the late 90s, it was because Jim Cornette had major influence, and Buddy still blew it.
TOTAL: 11. Nothing frustrates me more than seeing huge potential being flushed down the toilet. Buddy should’ve been a huge star, at least at Bobby Eaton-level. But he had more charisma and better mic skills than Bobby, and he STILL blew it. Some guys never learn.
5. Scott Hall
C: *** Scott Hall, in the 80s, was considered a Tom Selleck-like heartthrob. Large, hairy chest, dark features, tall, and brooding. And with the drugs, came women. And with the women, came sex. An easy 3 stars, and would’ve been more if he had spent more time on chicks and less time on booze.
B: **** How many times has Hall been to rehab? About as many times as promoters have given him chance after chance. He landed a cush job with WWE in 2002, and blowing that was perhaps the biggest mistake I’ve seen anyone make. Well, not really, but it’s close.
D: **** Ditto. Time after time, he just hasn’t been able to kick the habit. It’s really too bad, because he was such a huge star and there is no reason he shouldn’t be a headliner today. He’s still in shape, still has a name, and has the right friends in the right places. Even with all that, he still blew it.
TOTAL: 11. Hall has been a ticking timebomb ever since his career was peaking 6 years ago. There’s still time for him to turn himself around, being that his buddy HHH runs WWE and always will. Come on Scott, shape up and be the big star you can still be.
3-way Tie for #2. Kerry, Kevin, & David Von Erich
C: **** Girls, girls, and even more girls. Let’s see, three heartthrob hunks, gobs of money, tons of fame and fortune, rock-hard bodies, emulated by thousands, and scores of Texan women screaming for them in Beatlesque fashion. Translation? Chicks up the wazoo. There isn’t a Southern belle in the early 80s who wouldn’t have given her breast to be with a Von Erich, and they get an easy **** rating here. Kerry in particular was custom-made to grace the covers of Harlequinn novels. He had the physique most men wish they could have.
B: *** The Von Erichs weren’t boozers as much as they were druggies. Plus, they seemed too lean and cut to be swiggin’ beer all the time. With the amount of drugs and women they had, quite frankly, who had time to drink??
D: **** One overdose, one suicide, and one survivor. The Von Erich story, of course, is the saddest of them all. Too many stories to list here, but these boys were always in a constant haze. Too much fame, and it came too fast and too soon.
TOTAL: 11. I won’t even get into it. It’s been discussed to death. I get sad just thinking about it, so let’s just wrap this up. Man, this is one depressing list.
1. “Flyin'” Brian Pillman
C: **** Was anyone as big a womanizer as Flyin’ Brian? He constantly had a bevy of beauties at the snap of a finger, in any town he visited. If tag team partner Tom Zenk was a slut, then Brian was a superslut. Who can forget Zenk admitting in his Pick My Brain with us that he used to overhear Pillman in the hotel room going at it with all his women? I can see why Pillman was a hit with the ladies. Compared to ghouls and slobs like Dusty Rhodes and PN News, Brian was Brad Pitt. He had the exposure, fame, looks, and he was confident and aggressive as Hell. All that adds up to a penis that never, ever got a night’s (or day’s) rest.
B: *** The only thing keeping Brian from being 4 stars is his size, as he could’ve easily drank himself into oblivion if had the capacity. Still, pound for pound, Brian was a solid drinker who downed his share of shots. Too bad, because if he had spent less time at the bar and more time in the bedroom, he may have succeeded in conquering the entire female species.
D: **** Everyone always said Brian had his demons. Steroids, painkillers, and… you know how it goes. I believe it led to his death, and when he died, all the stories of Brian’s problems started proliferating. I always assumed he was clean, but that’s because I only believed what I saw on television. He was such a student of the wrestling business; how could he have been so messed up? Only Brian knows.
TOTAL: 11. Brian wasn’t the biggest boozer or abuser, although he probably was the biggest womanizer. But the reason he wins this award is that he was the total package of partying, similar to the reasons we regard Flair as the best ever. Pillman was the kind of guy who brought a party to life when he walked in the room, and that is ultimately what this list is about. It’s not about who can snort or inject the most, or who can build the highest tolerance level. Nor is it about who can bang the most babes, because any person with decent fame and exposure can do that. It’s about bringing it all together, giving off an aura of chaos and mayhem, and being THE party himself. Brian was hilarious, hard working, hard partying, and hard hitting. He knew how to beat ass legit, and the stories of his sexual conquests are near rock star levels. Cheers to you Brian, we salute you for all the memories.
But I’ll tell you what. I’d have rather not have you on this list at all, if it meant you were still alive and with your family today. I wish you could’ve been here to see the Monday night wars heat up even further, and to see how wrestling became more profitable and more mainstream than ever in the years following your death. And I wish you could see wrestling now, as your perspective insights are sorely needed right now. I wish, I wish, I wish. I wish wrestlers would stop partying so much and start taking better care of themselves. I wish I didn’t have to write this. I wish everyone on this list were alive today. I wish, I wish, I wish. I miss you; we all do. And my one final wish is that we could all throw the biggest party on Earth, without the drugs, and without the booze. Just all us guys sitting around, laughing our asses off. To top it all off, we’d pop in the WCW All-Nighter and just watch the masters do their thing. That would be the ultimate Great American Bash.