Wrestling Professor Named NEW Booker of WWE

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I had just been appointed the new booker of WWE.

You longtime Professor fans will remember I wrote an article called, “What WWE Needs to Do RIGHT NOW to Make This Split Work BIG!” 

I think someone in WWE got a hold of that book, because out of nowhere, they TOOK MY IDEAS!

Don’t believe me?  Well, shut up.  Here is just a small list of suggestions WWE has adopted in recent weeks. 

I wrote that article on MAY 22, 2002 by the way!  Hey Vince, please make all royalty checks payable to “Wrestling Professor.”

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #1:

“Ditch the ramp, change the color of the ropes, alter the arena lighting, and maybe put Ross & Lawler further back, like the early Nitro setup.  The key word here is ‘different.'”

Mmm hmm, and what happened??  “Suddenly” Ross & Lawler were moved further back.  “Suddenly” the arena lighting for RAW was altered and darkened for the matches.  “Suddenly” SmackDown changed the color of its ring apron.  No, they didn’t ditch the ramp, but 3 out of 4 ain’t bad.

Do you believe me yet?

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #2:

“No more floating champions.”

Aha, and what happened on RAW?  No more floating champions.  Brock is now exclusive champ to SmackDown, and HHH is exclusive champ to RAW.  I’m not the kind of guy to say I told you so, but, I TOLD YOU SO.

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #3:

“Eliminate the European, Hardcore, and Cruiserweight titles ASAP.”

I’m on a roll here.  Not long after I proposed this, the European title was merged with the IC title.  And last week, the Hardcore title was eliminated.  2 out of 3, oh yeah baby.

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #4:

“Be like All Japan and put the champ in tags and 6-man tags.  6-man tags are the hidden secret of pro wrestling.”

Last week on SmackDown, we had a hot 6-man main event.  In fact, I’ve been seeing 6-mans more and more on WWE TV.  Just a coincidence?

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #5:  

“Turn Brock into Rock… Brock Lesnar has so far been selling way too much, and if he is to get over as a monster, he needs to be portrayed as one…  The guys who need to be bumped up (not necessarily bumped to the SAME level, but up A level) are: Angle, Jericho, Benoit, Christian, RVD, Edge, Booker, Lesnar, Guerrero, Storm, Raven, Maven, Kidman, Tajiri, Bradshaw, Matt Hardy, and maybe a few others from OVW who are ready.”

Suddenly, Brock was transformed into a monster.  Many of those guys I listed are receiving renewed pushes.  Damn, I saved SummerSlam!

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #6:  

“It is now time to utilize Paul Heyman, Arn Anderson, Michael Hayes, Sgt. Slaughter, and find a way to work around Jim Cornette’s schedule if possible.”

Is that Heyman I see doing promo’s all the time now?  Was that Sgt. Slaughter I saw in an angle and match with Test last month?  Thank you.

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #7:   

“If Vince insists on each promotion acknowledging the other, then at least he should do it in a way that stimulates competition…

Instead, I would create competition in other creative ways.  At SmackDown, sell shirts with the word “Raw” and a line through it.  Do the opposite at the Raw shows.  Trash talk the other show the way Bischoff used to do on Nitro.”

This is my strongest evidence yet!!  “Suddenly” RAW and SmackDown are competing with each other!!  I see anti-RAW shirts and signs on SmackDown, and vice versa.  Bisch walks in the audience with a huge sign promoting RAW’s main event.  DAMN I’m good!

Suggestion WWE Stole From Me, #8:

“There are just a slew of significant names that can be brought in either for speaking roles, or for nostalgic 1-or-2-time matches.  Here’s a partial list: Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Hart, Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Snuka, Paul Orndorff, Jim Cornette, Tito Santana, Rick Steamboat, Terry Funk.”

OK, not all those names were brought back.  But Bobby Heenan was brought back to Confidential.  Not only was Snuka also brought back to Confidential, he was used in an angle to help get over the Island Boys.  I rest my case.

Look, I don’t fault the WWE for taking my ideas.  They were good ideas!  All I ask for is a little credit, and a little recognition.  Since WWE won’t recognize it, I had to do it myself.

If HHH can claim that the DX invasion of Nitro was the turning point in the Monday night wars (give me a break), then I can claim this!

And for those of you who have been enjoying the recent upswing in the quality of the WWE product?  I have 2 words for you:

You’re welcome.

Just call me the Rodney Dangerfield of wrestling writers.  Noooo respect man, nooooooo respect.

I will now go and solve the rest of the world’s problems.

The rest of you can go ahead and knock me off my high horse!

Kidding as always.