Jeff Hardy Excited to Meet Tooth Fairy

CAMERON, NC – Jeff Hardy is extremely excited to meet the Tooth Fairy following the recent loss of his tooth from a stiff kick by fellow wrestler Sheamus, according to his wife Beth.

At WWE Payback in San Jose, CA, Jeff and his brother Matt Hardy defended their WWE tag team titles against Sheamus and Cesaro. During the match, Sheamus delivered a very stiff kick to Jeff in which his shin made full-on contact with Jeff’s mouth, causing one of his teeth to come flying out.

Beth Hardy’s announcement has made some wrestling fans online chuckle at the fact that Jeff Hardy still believes in the Tooth Fairy.

“Jeff turns 40 this summer, and yes, he still believes in the Tooth Fairy,” said Beth in an online message board. “No matter how old his birth certificate says he is, he’s still just a big ol’ kid who believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.”

Since Jeff Hardy rarely goes on the internet, it’s not likely he will read about his fellow pro wrestlers mocking him for essentially behaving like a young child.

“Awwwww, little Jeffy Weffy wants to see the Toof Faiwy,” tweeted Matt Jackson of the Young Bucks. The Bucks were the last team to feud with the Hardy Boyz before they signed with WWE over WrestleMania weekend in April.

“OMG! Is this a rib? Jeff Hardy still believes in the freakin’ Tooth Fairy?? What’s next, he sits on Santa’s lap at the mall? #PatheticMan-child” said SmackDown announcer JBL, who has bullied Jeff Hardy in the locker room for years.

Even the Undertaker, who hasn’t been heard from since his match with Roman Reigns at WrestleMania, broke character and couldn’t help but laugh at the news.

“Hope Jeff Hardy rests in peace tonight… so that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t wake him by laughing at him for believing she exists. #TakingSoulsDrillingHoles” wrote the Undertaker in a particularly harsh tweet that WWE officials were said to be unhappy with.

Matt Hardy commented on the situation on his website, and in doing so showed more signs of transitioning into his old Broken Matt Hardy gimmick.

“Brother Nero’s fang has been broken and he lost his chomping might, but I’m confident the Fairy of Tooth will restore his mouth to its original vitality, and with it he’ll take a bite out of life again and bring justice to C-saro and Shame-on-us,” he posted.

The most embarrassing comments, however, were from his 6-year-old daughter, Ruby.

“When I tell my friends that I have a family member who believes in the Tooth Fairy, everyone assumes it’s my baby sister, Nera. And they’re right, she does. But so does Daddy. Nera is only a year old, so it’s ok. Daddy’s like, really old. He should know better. Mommy and I play along, but it’s getting really embarrassing now,” said Ruby when reached for comment.

According to Beth Hardy, Jeff has been staying up late at night with his tooth under the pillow, anxiously awaiting the Tooth Fairy. He carries his iPhone with him in hopes of getting a selfie with the Tooth Fairy to post on his Instagram. Beth said she wants him to go to sleep so she can slip money under his pillow, but Jeff stays up so late that she ends up falling asleep first.

“It’s really frustrating,” said Beth. “He drinks all this coffee at night, refusing to sleep. My only choice might be to slip the money in while he’s peeing from all the coffee, but our bathroom faces into our bedroom. So whenever he pees, he turns his head to look at the bed in case he misses the Tooth Fairy. It’s impossible, not to mention it makes him pee all over the floor.”

Beth said she has considered spiking Jeff’s coffee with melatonin or some other sleeping powder.

According to neighbors, Beth and her daughter Ruby are in talks with a local Hooters waitress to dress up and pretend to be the Tooth Fairy.

One neighbor, who asked not to be identified, said Beth should post an ad at the local community theater. That way, she said, Beth can hire someone with acting experience who can play the Tooth Fairy convincingly.

“That’s Plan B,” said Beth. “Plan C is to just tell Jeff the tooth, I mean, the truth. He’s old enough to know there’s no Tooth Fairy, but I really don’t want to tell him because it would absolutely crush him. At his age, he never thought he’d get the chance to meet her (Tooth Fairy). He’s actually glad Sheamus did this, because meeting her has been a lifelong dream of his.”

Reby Hardy, who is Jeff’s sister-in-law (and Matt Hardy’s wife), said Beth is concerned that Jeff will want to negotiate with the Tooth Fairy for a larger sum of money for his tooth.

“With little kids, you drop a quarter and they’re happy for a week,” said Reby. “Jeff, however, is an adult who is used to making huge money. A quarter would insult him. He might expect several thousand dollars, especially since that tooth could fetch a ton of money on eBay.”

Anthony Morgan, the Hardys’ accountant, doesn’t think that’s a problem.

“Jeff and Beth share the same bank account,” he said. “If Beth takes out 10 grand and puts it under the pillow, Jeff will just deposit it and it’ll go right back into their account. The risk is that he’ll see a withdrawal for $10k on their statement, so he might get suspicious. But I told Beth, ‘Beth, if he’s naïve enough to believe there’s really a Tooth Fairy, then he’ll believe anything you tell him.’ So she can say she took out that money to fix the brakes on the car, and that guy will just nod and say, ‘Okay, whatever.’”

Jeff Hardy’s accountant crunched the numbers and believes they’ll be okay if Beth leaves $10,000 under Jeff’s pillow.
For her part, Beth said she’ll figure it out.

“I deal with this every Easter and Christmas,” she said. “Jeff loves to meet the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, so this is nothing new. Still, he’s REALLY excited this time because he hasn’t lost a tooth since he was a kid. I’ll have to figure something out.”

There has been talk that WWE may work this into their television storyline, with the possibility that Sheamus and Cesaro could mock Jeff Hardy mercilessly for believing in the Tooth Fairy. But HHH, who has creative input, doesn’t think that’ll happen.

“We want fans to suspend their disbelief, but who in the Hell is gonna believe something this ridiculous?” said HHH when reached for comment. “Besides, this would make our male fans boo Jeff, and it might turn off his female fans too. It’s best to just let this whole thing play out in Jeff’s personal life, because his lack of sleep is really affecting his performance. I’ve wrestled him when he was a zombie on drugs, but this is different. Jeff needs to sleep or else, God help us, someone might knock out more of his teeth.”

Finally, Beth is concerned because their daughter Nera is young enough to where she hasn’t lost her teeth yet.

“This whole Sheamus thing threw a huge monkey wrench into my plans,” said Beth.

“For Ruby, I just slipped quarters under her pillow when both she and Jeff were asleep. Now with Nera, Jeff will want to stay awake and meet the Tooth Fairy AGAIN in a few years when she loses her teeth. What if he wants to keep in touch with the Tooth Fairy, text her, and invite her over for dinner? This is going to get worse before it gets better.”