Terry Funk vs Civilian
Terry Funk is an old school, second generation wrestler who grew up around the business with his brother Dory Jr. As kids, they saw their dad Dory Sr. wrestle on TV and in person, and as a wrestler, he was always challenged in public for being a “phony pro wrestler.”
Fight: Terry Funk vs Civilian
Date: Late ‘60s or early ‘70s (exact date unknown)
Location: a bar in Amarillo, TX
Source: “More Than Just Hardcore” by Terry Funk (autobiography), Armpit reader Mario Logan
One time his father was working out on some wrestling mats on top of a roof with Bob Geigel. A guy came up to the roof and said he could do all that too, because wrestling is phony. Dory Sr said, “Oh yeah?” and proceeded to beat the crap out of him. The guy was so scared he jumped off the roof. He tried to hang on to the branch of a tree that was about seven yards away, but he missed. He ended up spending time in the hospital from the bad landing.
Terry saw that and learned to protect the business at all times. He never went out looking for fights, but when challenged he always had to defend himself. He remembered one incident fondly.
Terry was at a bar in Amarillo with his wife Vicki. A man came up to them and asked Vicki to dance. Terry politely asked if he could please wait a little awhile because he was talking to her right now.
“Terry Funk!” he said. Terry confirmed he was indeed Terry Funk, the famous pro wrestler from the Funk family in Amarillo. He extended his hand, as did Terry. But the guy wouldn’t let go, and soon began to squeeze very hard.
Terry described him as about 300 pounds, but more fat than muscle. But still, he was a big man. And he was squeezing as hard as he could. Terry tried to ignore it, but it began to hurt like Hell, so he finally reached back with his left hand and “slapped the shit out of him.”
Terry’s new diamond ring, which he loved, flew off his hand. The guy went down to the floor, and as he was down there, he reached for a table with both arms. Terry knew this could be trouble, because the tables at the bar were made out of iron.
Terry reached down to pick the guy up from his pants, and as he tried to lift him, his pants and underwear ripped right off him. “I was looking at his bare, fat ass!” he later said.
He thought, “Shit, I might as well,” and dove in and bit a chunk out of his ass. The fight ended immediately.
The guy sued Terry the next day, and they ended up settling out of court for $750 (peanuts by today’s standards). Terry then famously said, “It was the most expensive piece of ass I ever had.”